Spineless Toey and his creepy owner

Poor Toey looks on aghast at the state of his spine

No wonder he's taking refuge in the jungle 

Journalist Fred Dinenage

Mark and Josie get a new ginger kitten called Toey but one day they go to the jungle at the bottom of their garden and lose him. Or do they? Has Toey in fact run away, deciding to fend for himself rather than being fed and petted by a young Fred Dinenage wearing a toupe and pinny? After giving up hope of ever finding Toey, they get a new kitten, a tabby with shiny paws. But a few weeks later they come across poor Toey in the jungle and make him return home.

Laurie's verdict: Apart from the creepy mum and the fact that it looks as though it's going to fall apart at any moment, I really liked the story.

Cops and robber hats

Ben and Katy see bank robbers leaping into a Starsky and Hutch-style car

 Katy looks on in surprise as her friend levitates at the park entrance

Took him to see a what? 

Looks like the gap in the park railings has shrunk preventing the robbers escape

 Cross robber wearing cake mixture throws a dark look at the pesky kids

Katy and Ben mime the whole adventure to uninterested mum 

                             
The Bank Robbers

Katy and Ben watch inept bank robbers hide in a park with only one rapidly shrinking entrance and foil their escape.

Samuel's verdict: The plot is stupid. The robbers would take off their robber hats and go home.
                           

How do you make a princess cry?

Ghosts and sad stories don't work 

Not even 50 spiders crawling on her bed makes her shed a princessy tear

Neither does the wise man with his big dragon in the woods 

The Princess who could not cry

For some bizarre reason the King thinks there's something wrong with his daughter because she's always laughing and happy in this 1991 special. He employs the services of several wise men who devise various nasty surprises to make her blub, but they find that only onions do the trick.

Samuel's verdict: Reading our school books would make her cry.

Crazy, confused horses and kids



Reading all about Lucy's holiday and then...

we jump 12 pages to some horse facts before returning to the story



 Lucy's in despair with her spoilt story

The Spoilt Holiday

 

Lucy's holiday is spoilt by a rubbish cellotape repair job that interrupts her dream-like adventure with a fairground horse with some down to earth horse facts.

 

Samuel's verdict: What?

There's a filthy monster in my book bag

 

An inviting first page...don't you just want to touch it?





Poor tatty, scribbled on Monster school stamped 1984

Great cellotape-enhanced illustrations by Quentin Blake 

New Monster, please

After a one-off new book last week, filthy Monster turns up in Luke's book bag, taking us back to the grubby, tatty ancient books that we've grown to love. Wear gloves to read to this and dozens of other filthy adventures illustrated by the fantastic Quentin Blake.

Luke's verdict: I love Monster but the books are always dirty.


Holy moly...it's a brand new book!

First new book in six years

No cellotape or stain in sight

Is this the first of many new school books?

Cinderella

 

Get out the party poppers and crackle open a bag of Haribos...it's the first new book to grace the kids' book bags in six years. Apparently, money has been spent on buying new books. Hoorah! But does this mean the dog-eared, dirt-encrusted books we've grown to love will be consigned to the recyling bin?

 

Dirty Babies



Mmm...lovely puppies but would you like to touch them?

 

 

 

More photos of dogs on dog-eared pages

Looks like she's spilt some of her milk

 

from all the bacteria on the pages

 

Now wash your hands.

 

 

Babies

 

Babies is so dirty that it looks as if the animals have come to life and rampaged over the book, eating and soiling it.

 

 

Six-year-old Kirsty's verdict: Eeee...yuk.