Thursday, 28 March 2013

Dirty, rotten, lying goose and the golden egg

    A sweet tale about a duck's quest
to find a golden egg

where he finds one

of every colour

except gold... 

 until he enlists some help from his friends
 and at last their quest is over...a golden egg!

Except bare-faced liar of a goose denies all knowledge

and palms them off with a chocolate egg from Lidl
The Golden Egg
Despite being pictured sitting on a golden egg, the goose states: 'I do not have an egg of gold,' and even shakes her head to reiterate the point. Is this a publishing error? Or is there a more sinister explanation? Has the goose changed the words after watching all the 'cash for gold' TV adverts and is planning to sell it.
Luke's verdict: What? The rabbits and ducks know the goose is a big, fat liar. They're looking at her as if she's mad. But she's bigger than them.


Saturday, 23 March 2013

Mrs Thatcher the Paper Snatcher

Poor scientist is terrified of the wrath of

the lovely Mrs T who gives the scientist

an ear-bashing and demands he snatches the paper back

The Secret Plans
Happy memories of mass unemployment and house repossession, the miner's strike, destruction of heavy industry, war-mongering, milk snatching etc flood back in this 1980s special when an inept scientitst gives away secret plans to a girl who calls round to his office, collecting scrap paper for her school.
Luke's verdict: I quite liked the story but why was Mr Camewrong wearing a blonde wig and ladies scarf?

Monday, 18 March 2013

The pages swallowed up by the cupboard under the stairs and other monsters

These kids are wise to be wary

For the poems are quite scary

But worst of all...

Every ghost and every ghoul  

Is eating through this book
To find some kids to cook.

Sunday, 10 March 2013

Dirty bird in waddle-by attack

Did this depressed-looking goose try and escape?

Gulls spend a lot of time in coastal kitties

Apparently, at night, birds like to roast together

Pages are dirtier than city streets 
Swallows like to feed on mosquitoes and midgets

Goodbye Birds of the City
Birds of the City
A fond farewell to Birds of the City after Luke is the last to have the privilege to read this 1980s special about...birds living in cities. Since Samuel read the book a few months ago, one of the geese finally had enough of being trapped on its grubby pages and tried to beak its way out.

Luke's verdict: Dirty birds in a dirty book.

Sunday, 3 March 2013

Guess the plot

 Girl is kidnapped and 

the villagers decide to rescue her

but evil Grabbers steal plot too

The Rescue of Ker
In this 1970s special, villagers have to rescue Ker from nasty knife-carrying villagers called the Grabbers who tie her up. Then we have to guess what happens as there are six pages missing. We have to assume the Grabbers have stolen the most interesting part of the book too as the school would never allow the kids to read a book in such a condition.
Laurie's verdict: Worst book in the world.